Malcolm loves David Dimbleby, and since he found out about his scorpion tattoo he’s been hassling Alex to take him to the dodgy tattooist down the road. He wants ‘LOVE’ and ‘HATE’ tattooed on his knuckles, he doesn’t have knuckles but that won’t stop him. He also wants a complex four-stage comic strip on his back involving himself massacring a seal.
He’s been researching online for something that reflects his personal values – he says he doesn’t want to end up with a meaningless tattoo that will embarrass him when he is 1000 (he’s still relatively young at 350). I reminded him that tattoos are forever and it would mar his lovely fur and he said that I wasn’t his real mum and called me a wanker.
He wants to tattoo his name on us, to give us an everlasting reminder of our responsibility to him. He said I can have ‘Mal’ on my back and Alex can have ‘Colm’ on his. Nice.
Malcolm the polar bear 