Went for a shower yesterday and when I came back into my bedroom he was blithely watching panda porn on my work laptop. That’s a nice little bestiality-related disciplinary for me then.

panda porn malcolm the polar bear

I made a shocked noise in my throat and he turned around to peer at me, looking vaguely irritated, then went back to rubbing his weird little nipples, watching the pandas running up and down the slide while Chinese zookeepers cooed at them. Didn’t have the heart to tell him he was on YouTube.

Why is he like this? Got dressed in the bathroom.